rise of anti-Superman
I usually like the idea that certain challenge get even more challenging on the way. Like this South Pole trek, it has been kind of coming for three years. First as an idea and for two years as a more and more concrete plan. The more plans have been hammered down the more the concrete begins to break.
I am coming close to the saturation point when dissolving exceeds the accumulation. Trekking plans, paid gore tex, too big boots, dried food pile up in the corner of my tiny apartment, but there is an outflow in another corner, money, health, nerves, peace of mind run out of my reach. It feels bit like a sinking boat.
Steven Kotler says Supermen are made of flow. I am floating not flowing.
Our team for South Pole has been in turmoil what comes to participants, price, time... Temperature at Vostok, Antarctica, is now -67 C so what ever the decision will be, I set my expectations on Christmas at South Pole in decent -20 C.
What is the limit between positive exitement and harmful stress? Negative thinking is no good but neither is stupidity and stubborness. If too many obstacles come in the way, is this meant to be?
Not only my bank account has been telling be something but also the body sends some remarks of being over 50. Only after my adult son spent 3 weeks in squat in Slovenia I realized that actually family might have been worried while I was at Everest. His trip went all well and he didn't let my hotel ***** reservations affect his plans. Shameless Shongololo rambled himself safely home. Me spending another 2 months out in the nomandsland?
Please, remind me what this is all about. Adventure? transcending? shelfishing? punta arenas mini bar scuba diving? jackassing? The more declamatory arguments for this trek are running out. I'm gonna conquer the Antarctica..I'm gonna conquer the South Pole..I'm gonna conquer the My Own Mind. This argument still feels valid. It's gonna be interesting to see what the mind produces during the long hours of skiing. I'm in peace, I've been wading through piles of self help books, flow to perfection, everything is fucked, luck factor, how to become rich. The tiny brain muscle is crazy fit. Looking forward with *****expectations.